Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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