I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Randomize
