I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
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