were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
