PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
