I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
