She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
