So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
