did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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