I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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