if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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