I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize
