can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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