we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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