Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
