And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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