when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
