I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
