The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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