Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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