This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Boobs are out for the taking
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
