My cat gives me a boner
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize
