We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
