hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
