we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
