Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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