at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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