the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
