The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
