i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
