how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
