Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
It's blow job season.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
