I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
