As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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