Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Someone signed my nipple.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
