I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Randomize
