Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Randomize
