Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
