im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
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