i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
