Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
