I can text with my tongue
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
