don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
