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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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