I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
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