perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
