I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
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