It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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