Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Randomize
