You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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