are you so shy because you have an std?
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize