I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
