Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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