If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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