my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
