I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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