All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
