this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
