So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
