New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
