how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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